Introspection...

So I was driving in brooklyn a few days ago, when I stopped at a traffic light. Crossing the street in front of me were several young beis yakov type/ chassidishe girls. They couldn't be more than 11 or 12 years old, but I noticed that one of them was really beautiful. Not in a pedophiliac way, but rather that I was able to understand that this girl was probably a beautiful baby, and a gorgeous child, etc., and I was able to appreciate that this girl will one day grow up and develop into a beautiful woman.
And I was struck at the fact that as I was looking at her, I actually thought "damn, it's a shame that when she grows up, her potential, beauty- wise, will be stunted." I was obviously thinking about the shaved heads and bullet proof stockings that were on the horizon for her, no doubt, yet I was seriously bothered by the fact that I thought that at all. What I mean is: what standard am I holding her up to? Do I believe that for a woman to reach her potential in looks she must have big tits and six inch stilettos? Am I that affected by western culture? Sarah Imeinu was the most beautiful woman to ever live, and obviously her beauty was within the parameters of tznius.
I was really bothered by this. I felt shallow, and false for those few minutes afterwards, long after the group of girls had disappeared down the block. And then I felt stupid because the back up of cars behind me, who'd been stuck for three light cycles already, were screaming and beeping in unison.....
Originally posted Saturday, 28 May 2005