Friday, March 23, 2007

Wife and death...

So I'm in the pool hall, and by the table next to me is this middle aged black couple shooting a game. The husband, who only has the eightball left, sets up his shot, the whole time telling his wife that he never misses this one. He shoots, and misses.
Husband: Shit! Damn! I never miss that shot! (throws his cue on the floor)
Wife: Oh, shut up and move so's I can get in there. (elbows him out of the way. She has a few balls on the table, which she proceeds to knock down in quick succession, right until the eightball, which she misses)
Wife: Damn it! This table is fucked up!
Husband: Move so I can show you how it's done. ( sets up nicely, and sinks it in.)
Husband: See? Like I tell you, this is a man's sport! Can't trust a woman to do a man's job!
Wife: Is that so? (one hand on hip, the other making the stop sign..) What about the times that I beat your sorry black ass? And what about the women who win those contests?
Husband: What? Never happened woman. Only time you ever beat me was cuz I let you! And those women aint women; they're lesbians or something.
Wife: Let me? Let me? You gonna tell me all those times were you letting me win? Bullshit.
Husband: What times? You beat me one in a thousand, maybe-
Wife: One in a thousand?! You are trippin' aint you? And another thing, those lesbians know how to do a man's job better than you do! You couldn't fu-
Husband: Alright, alright, I didn't mean one in a thousand like that; I meant like it never happens that often-
Wife: and I said you was trippin! And that-
Husband: I know what you said, woman!! The whole damn pool hall knows what you said! Now don't you go insulting my manhood like that or I'll-
Wife: What? You'll what? I haven't gotten any from your sorry black ass in months! Not that it was any good....
Husband: Now what the hell does that mean?-
Wife: It means: You don't know how to fuc- ( just then, they turn to stare at me.)
Husband and wife: what the fuck are you looking at, cracker?
Me: N-nothing. Nothing at all. Sorry....
Anyway, they go back to their argument, and I left. Ah, the pleasure of matrimony! Hope you guys liked that little story.....

Originally posted Friday, 13 May 2005

No comments: